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Journal Entry Easter, 2020

I beg your pardon, Lord, for feeling so down and defeated on the day of the year that I should be the happiest. I think we have been holding up remarkably well during this month of the shut down of nearly the whole world. I have been grateful for the time to slow down to rest and to live a bit more simply. Today, however, I cannot seem to overcome the sadness. I know that I do not want “things to go back to usual” after the pandemic. I wasn’t made for the hustle and bustle and self absorption. I want more – not more things – but more peace – more joy – more of You, Lord. Only You can fill me.

I am so missing You in the Eucharist and in the adoration chapel. You told me this time would come, though I never imagined it would come about like this. Lord, I pray that it is just temporary, and not a prelude to what may come if the socialists have their way with our country – our world.

Please, Father, increase my trust in You and the peace that results. Please turn this test into a testimony as You have done in the past.

P.S. Please bless abundantly the generous and kind soul who anonymously left money in our mailbox. I am most grateful, astounded and deeply, deeply touched.

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I felt some progress tonight as I looked at myself in the mirror for several minutes. I was able to see beauty for the first time in a long time – even my gray hair and skin changes. I was able to be gentle with myself and appreciate my body and all of the wonderful things it has done and continues to do.

5/12/22

Funny story of the day – subbing in 1st grade classroom…

I recently purchased a Beachwaver knockoff curling iron. I spent a good twenty minutes on my hair this morning and personally thought I was “rockin’ it.” It gave my hair body I’m not used to having…So a first grade girl raises her hand and asks, “Did you take a shower this morning?” (I’m wondering where this question is going…) “Yes, I did. Why, do I stink?” I asked bluntly (That’s me!) She said, “No, but you forgot to dry your hair.” Here I was thinking my beach waves were so cool. Apparently, I looked as though I has just stepped out of the shower! Gotta love those precious, unfiltered little ones!!