Over the past few years, I’ve developed a burning, burning desire to live more simply, more quietly – surrounded by nature. I want to work and to pray – to pray and to work, much like the Benedictines – only I’m not a Benedictine. I’m a wife and a mom with a job. That makes it tough.
Could the Lord have placed this burning desire within my heart? It is a dream and a desire that I simply cannot let go of, though I still see no way to make it happen of my own accord. I’m guessing that it is only He who can fulfill this dream, just as it is only He who can fill me.
I feel closest to God when in an empty, beautiful church, sitting in the adoration chapel or outdoors , beneath the trees or beside a stream. With all of the noise and confusion and chaos in the world today, I sometimes succumb to despair and feeling just plain overwhelmed. I want to retreat. I long to simplify my days so that I can spend more time connected to the Lord in work and in prayer. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy teaching, but I just feel change on the horizon.
I want natural surroundings – like wood. I want more land and less house. I want to wash dishes and maybe hang clothes on a line with clothespins. I wouldn’t mind if I lived where there was terrible cable or internet. Somehow, I think we’d all be better off without so much stimulation and information. I’m not sure my family members would feel the same:)
I want to return to a life I’ve never really lived. Does that make sense? I want to go back to the way that I’m sure God intended families to live. I wonder if it’s possible…
“For nothing is impossible with God. ” Luke 1:37