It has been many months since I have posted anything. A sweet friend told me the other day that she missed my posts. You know, I used to get excited about having several hundred readers a day (in the blog’s peak.) Now, it just seems so unimportant. I’ve all but disappeared from social media. I care, but I don’t care, if that makes sense.
I feel as though I owe an explanation, but don’t think I can give one, really. I have not felt inspired. The words that were free flowing for so long just dried up. Something profound happened to me in December of 2015, and it changed my focus completely. I became very introspective – trying to discern God’s plan for my life and the lives of my family members. I started soaking up everything I could read to aid my understanding, including God’s Holy Word and the prophecy of Catholic saints, as well as modern day “prophets.”
I still don’t have many answers. In my experience, the Lord takes His time in unraveling a plan – it might blow our feeble minds if it was all laid out before us at once! I also know that His timing is always perfect. So I try to wait patiently for that answer.
I read something the other day that suggested meditation upon God’s Word – even if it was just a verse that was meaningful. I opened my bible and these two lines from Psalms 37 struck me:
Psalm 37:5,7 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will act…Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.”
I keep saying that repeatedly to myself and have even posted it in several places I frequent. The truth is that life is tough for all who love the Lord. The farther the world departs from God, the more we will stand out – and it is uncomfortable. The world today does not know God – Truth. The world did not accept Jesus. If the world treated Jesus unfairly and even cruelly, how can we expect any less? We must accept and even embrace persecution – but can only accomplish this with God’s grace.
The world tells us that we should avoid suffering at all costs. Jesus tells us and shows us the exact opposite. In fact, there are so many paradoxes in the bible. It seems radical (maybe even crazy in earthly terms) to say that suffering can be a blessing. It surely doesn’t feel like it when you’re going through it.
I trust though that God has a plan – a plan that is best for our eternity – if we will surrender to Him and allow Him to form and use us. That molding can be grueling, but it can be done with a peace and inner joy that God alone can give – and He wants to give us that grace! He tells us that He will never test us beyond our strength. Sometimes, I’m ashamed to say, I doubt this promise – especially when in the height of a personal storm.
I believe that so many good people are suffering now because Christ is allowing us to share in His suffering to help save the millions of souls who are on the path to hell. We are told that the Lord does not wish that one of His children be lost. Do we wish the same for our fellow brothers and sisters here on this earth? Do we care enough to offer all of our pain as a “ginormous” prayer for their repentance and conversion?
Two things have given me peace in the midst of suffering: The rosary – particularly “The 7 Sorrows of Our Lady.” I often listen to it at night before I go to sleep, I feel Mary’s empathy and support in my own sorrows, because she has experienced REALLY tough things herself and yet she remained faithful. Visits to the Blessed Sacrament also help me keep my peace despite the frequent world wind of trials and challenges. Just sitting in the presence of Jesus is so calming and restorative. If I skip (because I’m “busy”) then my day inevitably derails.
I hope this has been helpful to someone out there. Please pray for me – for discernment and grace. Know that I often pray for you, my readers and friends.