(I just viewed my post AFTER posting it. I apologize for the racy advertisement prior to the music video – not what I wanted to post! Please stay tuned for the song. It’s worth it.)
Know that you have not been far from my thoughts and prayers all day! I was so touched by your story. I heard this on the radio while driving, and it reminded me of you – and so many times in my own life that seemed unbearable – and yet I’m here to tell the tale! Please Hang in there! The Lord is carrying you – giving you the strength to just keep breathing. Sometimes that’s all that you can do is breathe.
One thing that helps me when I feel trapped in a situation that is so stressful, so hurtful, so laden with frustration is to set a timer and pray a simple prayer every hour on the hour. It might be, “Carry me, Jesus,” or “Jesus, I trust in You.” Simply, consciously checking in with Him every hour – making that act of faith, brings me peace. It doesn’t happen instantly. Sometimes it takes 7-8 hours before it starts settling in my bones. (I’m admittedly high-strung and stubborn!) Life is tough – sometimes excruciatingly so. You might be in a place where taking one day at a time seems too burdensome. That’s when taking it by the hour/minute can be so helpful.
God will turn this test into a testimony if you will just trust in Him and persevere. Mankind will let you down, but He will never abandon you! Continued prayers coming your way…