The last few months have been extremely stressful for me and for my family. Prayerfully, we put our home up for sale in order to try to purchase a home with an extra bedroom for my youngest son who has never really had a space to call his own. I have had very mixed feelings about digging up roots again, because the neighbors (now dear friends) in my present neighborhood are the best in the world! They are caring, considerate, loving people who look out for one another and even pray for one another. Meeting this incredible group of people has been such a blessing in my life. It’s a once in a lifetime kind of connection that can never be duplicated or replaced. I will keep in touch with them but will miss seeing them on a daily basis.
Anyway, in all of the hubbub of selling and buying, packing and planning, I feel I have lost my connection to God somewhat. Normally, I feel so close to Him, but lately I have felt a disconnect. I know that it is me who has turned away – not my loving and faithful Father.
Just yesterday morning, I was calling multiple companies trying desperately to get a quote on homeowner’s insurance for our new place. I needed it (basically) for cheap, so as to keep our future housenote in an affordable range. I called and called and could only get a quote that would raise our note $55 – a significant deviation from what we had hoped. I began for a moment to question and to despair. Did I pray hard enough about this decision to move? What if we’ve chosen the wrong house? the wrong time? How were we going to swing this note?
Then I began to talk to God. “Father, if I’ve misread the signs, please straighten me out. Help me to trust You. Help us to make this work if it so truly be Your Will.” I then let it go, and busied myself with the many other things that had to be done. At 4:30 p.m., while preparing dinner, I received a call from a woman – from a legitimate well-known company – who quoted me the most wonderful (do-able) price for homeowners. God had answered my prayer through the telephone and through that agent. Once I let go, He continued to work on my “problem.” He is so good!
I mentioned earlier that I had been feeling a bit distant from God lately. I try to read the readings of the day, and can barely concentrate. I seem to be clinging more to rote prayers, as my own heartfelt words have seemed more difficult to come by.
Normally, I have my phone turned to silent during school hours while I am working. This morning, I must have forgotten to silence the ringer. At about 20 minutes before I was to teach my first class, a friend that I had not talked to in months called to share some spiritual excitement. She had recently begun the consecration to Jesus through Mary. She said that she is getting so much through the daily meditations in this particular (modernized) version of St. Louis de Montfort’s work. She feels so much closer to Christ, and wanted to share it with me! I felt so renewed in hope and happy for her.
Again, I think that God spoke to me using the telephone and a wonderful friend. Do you suppose He was inviting me to return to Him emotionally? Do you think that He might be inviting me to consecrate myself to Him through this devotion? He knew that I needed some spiritual encouragement, and He provided it in the most wonderful of ways. Hmmm. Sometimes His ways are not so mysterious!