It has been a chart toppin’ stressful few weeks. My body has rebelled in a myriad of ways – from headaches, to itching, and now upset stomach. There is one thing that I’ve been working on for school that I have allowed to make me most anxious.
When I was at the Teresian convent this past Thursday, on retreat with our fifth graders, I was able to let go of some of that stress. After the kids boarded the bus to head back to school, I took a long, slow walk around the pond on the property. Other than the rustling of leaves, and chirping of birds, there was lovely, lovely silence.
As I reached the far end of the pond, I sat on a bench and poured my heart out to God. I told Him everything I was concerned about with work and with my personal life. Then I completed my walk, and entered the chapel to collect my belongings. I sat for a moment in front of the tabernacle and enjoyed a couple more minutes of peace, before hitting the road. In the quiet of those few moments, I felt that Jesus gave me direction as to what to do about the project at school. I thanked Him, and headed back to work, happy to have some guidance in at least one aspect of my life. Still (shame on me), I questioned God as to why He was not generous and forthcoming in giving me guidance with my family life. I wanted answers right away.
Upon my return to campus, I went to my classroom only to find a copy of a small, but profound book, “Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence, the Secret of Peace and Happiness” on my desk. My wonderful substitute and dear friend had purchased and left a copy just for me!
Immediately, upon reading the title, I knew that the answers to the other things I had asked God were contained within. I also knew that they were not going to be the “easy” answers I had hoped for. Still, He did answer, and I had to eat my words and apologize!
I read about half of the book last night before bed. Wow! If only I could fully surrender myself and my family to Divine Providence, how much happier and more peaceful I would be. I want to want what God wants everyday, in all things. I suppose I must pray that I will grow to truly want what God wants in every situation. He is all wise, all knowing, and His love is unconditional. Who better to trust than someone who can see everything and only has my best (eternal) interest at heart?
“Trust in the Lord with all Your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5 (the Teresian’s pond)