Recently, I feel as though I’ve been called to practice Christian meditation – practice being the key word. I stink at it! For a busy, task oriented person, it is such a challenge to keep my mind from wandering. I seem to have the most “success,” if you will, in the silence of the adoration chapel. Unfortunately, I can’t be there for extended periods each day, so I’ve been trying to make my bedroom work. I really must get a chair, because the bed, even when I’m sitting up, encourages sleep – not good since I feel as though I was born tired!
Yesterday, I tried hard. (I wonder if it’s supposed to be this difficult!) I tried to picture myself climbing the mountain of Calvary, to make it to the summit. There, I had hoped to gaze upon an empty cross – a triumphant, resurrection cross. As I saw myself climbing the mountain, I felt as though my legs were becoming heavier and heavier until they were only useless, lead weights. I continued to grasp at the rocks in an effort to drag myself to the top using upper body strength – only I don’t have much of that. As I struggled, and panted, I realized, “You idiot! You don’t have to do this alone, with a body that is holding you back. Ask Jesus to carry you.” So in my mind, I did ask Him to carry me to the top. He rescued me, and carried me in His arms to the cross. I was there but a short time with Mary and John, the beloved, and my mind began to wonder once again. Doggone it!
I’m determined to continue to practice until my mind can “get with the program” and relax – that is bask in the presence of God – through meditative prayer. If we cannot empty ourselves of our worldy distractions and worries, we cannot be filled. Oh, how I long to be filled!
If you are interested in trying meditation as a form of prayer, I found a good website with some basic information to get you started. Click here.