I’ve been working on something that I believe the Lord is calling me to do. So far, though still early on in the game, I would consider it “an epic failure.” A cloud of negativity swept over me last night as I heard these word repeat in my brain,” epic failure…epic failure.” I do believe that was the devil playing those tapes for me!
Anyway, I planned to speak to a priest friend, and ask his advice on the matter. I thought to myself, “Dana, you know what he is going to say. Pray and fast.” Pray – I’m right there with you, Lord! Fast – Yikes! I’m not a good “faster.” I am not very disciplined when it comes to food. If I skip snacks – let alone entire meals, I get headaches. If I get a headache, I become grumpy. When I become grumpy, I’m not fun to be around! Worse case scenario, I could wind up with a whopper of a headache in bed, unable to function. Excuses, excuses.
When I went to mass this morning, the priest spoke of St. Rose of Lima, whose feast we celebrate today. She died fairly young. Her whole life was dedicated to prayer, fasting, making sacrifices and giving to the needy. She fasted and made sacrifices purely out of love for Jesus and for others. She did this her whole life!
Hmmpf! Here I am grumbling about fasting for a particular intention for what would probably be a limited amount of time – days, weeks – maybe a month or two. Shame on me! I am forced to ask myself the question, “How badly do I really want this thing? Am I really working on it for the glory of God and the good of others alone? Am I willing to give something up in order to get something?”