There are some days when life just seems to get the best of me. I was thinking of not posting today, since I didn’t have anything upbeat to say. The objective of my blog is, after all, to edify and encourage.
The events of this past week have been overwhelming emotionally. One of our school’s former students lost her battle with brain cancer on Saturday – a beautiful, courageous young woman. A current student was in a boating accident and has been lost at sea since Saturday – another absolutely lovely young lady with an infectious smile and a bubbly personality. Teams are still searching for her. The wait is simply agonizing. When I think of her poor mother and family – what they are experiencing now – it upsets me greatly. While I was checking the obituaries for the first young lady to see if funeral arrangements had been set, I saw another of my former student’s names at the top of the list – a bright, awesome young man of thirty. So much suffering.
I realized that through all of my sadness this weekend, I had not allowed myself to cry – I mean really cry. This morning, I asked my middle child to watch over my youngest while I went to take a bath. I locked myself in the bathroom, turned on the water and had a good, long cry, all the while asking, “Why? Why?” I needed that release of many pent-up, raw emotions. I’m still sad, but my body feels lighter somehow, and I feel that now I can continue on with the tasks ahead of me today.
While these are not exactly “words of hope,” I guess I just wanted you to know it’s o.k. to cry out to God and ask, “Why?” You may not get your answer until you get to heaven, but God understands our human emotions and questions. He wants us to be respectful of Him, but He also wants us to be honest. For me, just admitting my pain to God, and telling Him how sad I was helped somehow. By letting God in, I allowed Him to share my burden.
If you are going through something similar, I hope it helps you to know that you are not alone. You are not alone.
“The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone…” John 8:29