Lowering the Hem

When shopping for my thirteen year old daughter today – specifically for shorts, I found the options unacceptable – not bad, not tacky, not just skimpy – unacceptable.  It is such a struggle.  I’ve tried to teach my daughter to respect herself and to love her body just the way God made her.  I’ve also tried to teach her that one can express herself through fashion and still dress modestly.  It is so hard to convince her of that when this season’s hot items are Daisy Duke shorts,  skimpy rompers and tight bandeau tops.  I feel that I have to pick and choose my battles, but I’m waging war nonetheless.  This one just seems too important to lose.

I spent a good part of the morning, letting the hem out of some short denim shorts that sort of resembled a bandaid for a bottom.  The problem is that my daughter has a stringbean shape – tiny waist and long legs.  In order to get the waist to fit (even with the adjust- a- waist) styles, I have to buy a small size.  Unfortunately, Bermudas are not in her fashion repertoire.  So, I am forced to do alterations!

I’m sure that our parents had the same difficulties with us.  I suppose the fashions of the 60’s with the mini skirts and 70’s with the halters drove them nuts.  It just seems to me that clothes keep getting more and more revealing.  There is something very wrong about sexualizing our little girls.  I have two boys as well.  I’m sure that it becomes more and more difficult for young men to have pure thoughts and exercise self-control when they are bombarded by “it” everywhere they turn.

How I wish there were something we could do to change the fashion trend to something  flattering or funky yet full coverage !


About danardoyle

I am a Catholic, working wife and mother. I have three children ages 10, 16 and 23. I am extremely busy, as you can imagine. I aim each and every day to put God first in my life, to teach my children the Faith, to be a supportive spouse, keep the house in order, and do my job outside of the home well, too. That's an impossible task - without Divine intervention! Here, I hope to share my triumphs and struggles with other working moms in the same boat. I will share the tools I have discovered to making it all work - most days!
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7 Responses to Lowering the Hem

  1. If we brought back the “maxi dresses” of the 60’s and 70’s, they’d be covered head to toe. I used to LOVE my long dresses and long hair and sandals. Sweet and feminine, yes. Sexy? No. There was lots of opportunity for modest decoration in those days. Vintage jewelry with the long dresses completed the look. If the fashion came back tomorrow, I would hop right back into it. Ultimate comfort and femininity combined.

  2. Stand Firm Friend!! Fight on!! I know it was really difficult for my daughter and I because she was so tall at such an early age. She had a size 8 shoe when she was 12. At the time, it was very difficult to find dress shoes that weren’t too grown up and sleezy. God will give you wisdom in communicating with your daughter so that these are not your standards alone, but that they become hers as she lives to glorify God. I’m glad to hear that there are parents who are willing to become unpopular with their children in order to raise the standard God has given us.

  3. I just had to leave an encouraging post script. Tonight I went to mass at the beautiful old church in “old town” Albuquerque. Afterwards, I was standing in back of a couple in line to greet the priest after services. The woman was wearing a very short, very thin cotton dress, the top of which was nothing more than what used to be called a “tube top.” It had no straps whatsoever, and she had a very large bosom. The length of the skirt was very short. The priest told the woman that she was not dressed appropriately to enter a church. She did not understand WHY and he had to explain it to her, while her husband stood there, probably very embarrassed. Brave priest! I wanted to give him a trophy and a 5 dollar bill! I was thrilled to see the padre have the courage to hold up the ideal.

  4. littlesoul2 says:

    Dana, good for you! I am really shocked these days to see young girls in the 12-ish range wearing really low cut tops. It’s so sad. I too feel truly sorry for young men who are trying to be pure. They are literally surrounded by girls in revealing clothes. I think that Tan publishing has a book on modesty written by a former model. I remember a Life on the Rock episode on EWTN where a gorgeous former model (maybe the book’s author?) presented a fashion show with young teen girls in stylish but modest attire. They looked adorable!

  5. AMEN! It is hard even as an adult to find clothes to cover everything, so I can image your frustration as a parent. Keep fighting the good fight! It may take longer to find appropriate clothes, but it’s worth the effort. How lucky your daughter is that you can make alterations!

  6. Fashions come and go– there’s a trend towards maxi skirts right now, for example. The best thing you can do is to patronize modest retailers, or like you did, do the alterations.

    Thanks for taking a stand for modesty!

  7. aisling says:

    Hi! Be encouraged that there are young women out there who have been affected by their mothers and other honourable ladies in their lives. It was for this reason I started this blog http://www.fashionmodesty.wordpress.com It revolves around fashion tips, style ideas as well as heart issues that pull our fashions into immodesty! Feel free to share it with her, or use it for some design ideas for her! Beauty is modesty but you don’t have to give up fashion for either! Continue to lead by example and she will be watching 🙂

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