I don’t know what came over me this morning. I’m not sure if I was feeling sad, tired, or just introspective. In any case, I found noise, and the sound of chattering voices to be strangely annoying. My family kept talking to me, asking questions that required a response. It was almost unbearable for me to have to open my mouth and to utter a half-hearted, “Humpf.” I felt guilty about my uninviting mood, but felt somewhat powerless to do anything about it. I had just left mass, and should (in my own estimation) have been filled with joy and peace – ready to share these gifts with others. That didn’t happen.
Once I arrived home, I couldn’t wait to get out of the car – to remove myself from the children in the backseat who seemed to be talking incessantly – round and round – about the same things. I retreated to the garden. My garden is one of the places in my little world where I feel closest to God – where I can escape the noise and confusion, and just take pleasure in simplicity. I enjoy watering my plants and fertilizing them. I enjoy pulling weeds, planting and transplanting. I watch every stage of growth with wonder – in awe of God’s beautiful and diverse creations.
Today, as I pulled weeds, I asked God to pull the nasty “weeds” that had overgrown the garden of my soul – the weeds of selfishness, anger, impatience and intolerance. I talked to God as I dug deeply into the moist earth with my bare hands. I inspected a spiderweb glistening in the sun. I watched a dragonfly circle overhead looking for the perfect place to land.
After having my thirty minutes of peace in the garden, I still felt like being quiet – maybe even taking a nap, but my patience was renewed and my mood – lightened. Thank you, God, for giving me grace in the garden.