If you’ve been reading my posts, you know that this past Sunday was a major bummer for me. I awakened in a negative mindset and couldn’t seem to shake it, despite my best efforts. I was experiencing what St. John of the Cross might call a “dark night of the soul” – only it was a dark day. I could not feel God’s presence at all, even though I knew He must be with me.
I went to the chapel Sunday afternoon and begged God to talk to me – to give me some tangible reassurance. I was met with dreadful silence. This Tuesday morning, however, I attended mass. The readings for the day shouted to me!
From Psalm 34:
When the just cry out, the LORD hears them,
and from all their distress He rescues them.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted;
and those who are crushed in spirit He saves.
From the gospel (Matthew 6)– a line that stood out for me:
Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.
God answered me through His word on Tuesday. He waited for me to get off of my pity pot, so that I could hear Him clearly. I was so crushed in spirit on Sunday when my washing machine broke and flooded out the laundry room. I was crushed in spirit when my husband answered me with grumpiness, because he was angry for having to go to work on the Lord’s Day.
From my distress, He has rescued me. He was probably thinking, “A Little Fortitude, Please, Dana. What happened to your firmness of faith?” Indeed, what happened? On Sunday, it went out the window!
Dear Lord, please grant me the grace of fortitude, especially when times get tough. Help me to know in my heart that it is never You who abandons me, but I who abandon You. Help me never to abandon You. Amen.