You Couldn’t Pay Me to Go Back!


The wind is moving
But I am standing still
A life of pages
Waiting to be filled
A heart that’s hopeful
A head that’s full of dreams
But this becoming
Is harder than it seems
Feels like I’m

Chorus:
Looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need Your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

If there are millions
Down on their knees
Among the many
Can you still hear me
Hear me asking
Where do I belong
Is there a vision
That I can call my own
Show me I’m

lyrics by Michael W. Smith

Watching a pre-teen struggle to find her place among her classmates, and running into an old classmate of my own today, brought to mind the lyrics to a meaningful song, “Place in this World,” by Michael W. Smith.

Growing up is so darn hard.  It is painful when you have faith, and the support of loving parents and siblings.  I can only imagine how much more difficult it would be without faith – without support – without hope.

When I think of those awkward, lonely, searching teen years, I think there is no amount of money in the world that could make me want to relive them.  It was just too painful.  I wasn’t “smart;”  I wasn’t athletic;  I wasn’t beautiful; I didn’t seem to have any outstanding talents.  I could not find a place where I truly “fit in.” The best thing about being forty something is surely not the wrinkles and sags, it is finally accepting myself – being comfortable with who I am.

I love these song lyrics.  Isn’t that what teens are searching for – acceptance, a purpose?  If only they could see that their best friend could be Jesus.  He was unpopular, shunned, rejected, ridiculed and ultimately crucified.  Who could understand the plight of a teenager better than Jesus?  He’s been there – done that!

When I find myself weighed down by the burdens of life, indulging in self-pity, asking God, “Why me?” I look to Jesus on the cross.  Could God have loved anyone more than He loved His Son?  And Yet, even Jesus had to suffer on this earth, in order to give us the gift of eternal life.

It is my prayer that my children and my students hang onto Jesus in these most difficult years.  He knows their pain, and can truly help them to find their place in this world.  It will take faith.  It will take prayer.  It will take perseverance.

I am living proof that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  One can survive the awful teenage years and live to experience true peace and happiness – the kind that only God and self acceptance can bring.

About danardoyle

I am a Catholic, working wife and mother. I have three children ages 10, 16 and 23. I am extremely busy, as you can imagine. I aim each and every day to put God first in my life, to teach my children the Faith, to be a supportive spouse, keep the house in order, and do my job outside of the home well, too. That's an impossible task - without Divine intervention! Here, I hope to share my triumphs and struggles with other working moms in the same boat. I will share the tools I have discovered to making it all work - most days!
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