I checked out again – took a writing break. As summer quickly draws to a close, I find myself excited and nervous and bummed all at the same time. My mind is cluttered with a constant swirl of emotions, thoughts and activity. I don’t seem to be able to concentrate on any one thing for long. I feel as though I have attention deficit disorder. I’ve started about four books and have finished none of them. I lack concentration in prayer and meditation. Disappointing.
My daughter still wants her room painted – ugh! Not a fun project really. She is persistent, too, so she won’t relent until it happens. My little man is watching the window each day for the UPS truck to bring a ridiculously overpriced Star Wars Darth Vader mini figure. He saw the brown truck pull up yesterday, and came bursting into my room overflowing with excitement. “He’s here, Mom! The UPS man! Come see!” Imagine his disappointment when the box left on our front porch contained school textbooks for my daughter.
I’ve been trying to organize a faculty retreat set for August 1st. I’m a bit nervous, as it is the first time that our new pastor will see me in action. I hope that what I choose doesn’t disappoint, and will at least speak to a good number of people there. It will be our first official day back at work – most will likely be less than excited to be there. Come Holy Spirit to guide me!
I’ve cleaned out everything that could possibly be cleaned out this summer – in a feeble attempt to get my house in order. Someone on FB posted, “Cleaning house with the kids home is like trying to brush your teeth with Oreos in your mouth” (Something like that!) Sooo true! Anyway, I’ve donated a load of stuff. Now I have another collection of stuff cluttering up a corner in my bedroom and in my garage. Do I want to go through the trouble of a garage sale, or call the Veterans to come pick up another donation – or both? I’m still undecided.
I’m feeling a bit reclusive. I want to know what is going on in a couple of people’s lives right now, but for one reason or another, haven’t succeeded in picking up the phone. I’m not a real phone person. I’m a good emailer or face to face, but not a good phone person. What’s up with that! Everytime I pick up the phone, it seems my kids need something anyway.
Having teens and young adults in the home is hard. I have been blessed with really good kids. I have learned that what “They” say is true – “little kids little problems, big kids big problems.” It is painfully true. The high school and college years are so difficult in many ways. You can’t be there to save your kids from every difficulty and hurt. You wouldn’t want to be, as they need the experience in problem solving themselves. You spend a lot of time in prayer that they make the right decisions and that they make it through unscathed – spiritually, physically or mentally. Rough!
Last night, my husband and I took a badly needed break and went to see “Madea’s Witness Protection Plan” at the movie theater. It was a bit irreverent, but provided a much needed escape and the laughter we were missing. I liked that in the irreverence, there was nothing sacrilegious. So many movies used God’s name in vain, or poke fun at Him. Tyler Perry did not do that, so we could enjoy the entire movie (without having to get up and leave as we have had to do at other films) guilt free.
So that’s where I find myself – in a scatterbrained, muddled mess. I think that I will take Pio’s advice today – “Pray, hope and don’t worry.” I will try to stay in the moment, so that everything seems bearable. I tell my students that God gives us actual grace – grace for the moment. He doesn’t give you grace for tomorrow, or ten years from now – for things that haven’t happened yet. We must stay trusting like the sparrow or like a child. Then we will fear nothing – over analyze nothing.
I hope that this posting finds you well, trusting, happy…